I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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