At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
