apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize