The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize