you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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