Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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