I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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