Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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