Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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