It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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