she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
