Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize