he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?