Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.