If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
