THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
