life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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