pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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