It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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