I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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