trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
