When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize