Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
