The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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