I must be too annoying 4 u.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
