Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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