her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
