I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
