I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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