i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
