i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
