pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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