think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
