I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
