obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
