i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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