He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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