Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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