suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
false alarm, still single
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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