She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
