We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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