i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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