is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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