you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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