This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
