I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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