i think my tv is drunk
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
