i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
