why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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