I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was confusing and full of hummus
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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