He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
