Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
