they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
