nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
