It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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