Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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