i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
